


Jagged Pieces

by forgetmenotjimmy



Series: Spaces [3]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood and Injury, Episode: s01e19 A Coffin That Small, F/M, Ghosts, Gunshot Wounds, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Secret Relationship, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-09-30 20:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20453243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetmenotjimmy/pseuds/forgetmenotjimmy
Summary: Matt stared up at him, eyes wide in shock and fear. There was an ominous gargling sound. Kelly pressed down harder, eyes stinging. “Hold on. Hold on Casey, come on.”"You miserable bastard." Confused, Kelly turned around and saw the ghost of his best friend staring at him angrily.Andy's ghost talks some sense into Kelly and later he discovers that he was more wrong than he could have ever imagined.





	1. Arguing With Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> Set just after season 1 ep 19. Everything is as canon except 1) Casey never got back together with Hallie 2) Voight hasn’t been introduced yet. Any other changes are explained in the text.

Kelly didn’t think he’d ever felt so angry – it burst out of him as he stalked after the arrogant prick, yelling about him banging Andy’s widow. How could they have done that? Done that to Andy’s memory? It hadn’t even been a year and they were jumping into bed? Was Kelly the only one who respected Andy’s memory? The only one who missed him like a missing limb? Had they forgotten? How dare they!

Matt turned back angrily but before he could spout off more lies, the world exploded. Kelly only heard the shots and glass breaking once he’d dropped to the floor, reacting purely on instinct. Ears ringing a little, he looked up, exchanging a look with Boden, before something caught his eye. Among the shards of glass on the floor was…red. Shifting his gaze a little he saw Casey…Matt was- Numbly, he scrambled forward, almost forgetting to keep low.

“Casey.” He breathed in horror. Belatedly, he reached down, pulling Casey’s hands away and pressing his own hands on the wound. He registered absently that it was a through and through, the bullet had ripped…oh God. “Shay!” He called desperately, his hands already slick with warm, thick blood, the air heavy with the smell of it. It was everywhere. Matt stared up at him, eyes wide in shock and fear. There was an ominous gargling sound. Kelly pressed down harder, eyes stinging. “Hold on. Hold on Casey, come on.” He babbled even as his basic medical knowledge told him that it was hopeless; Casey couldn’t breathe with a massive hole in his windpipe. “Shay!” Kelly yelled again, dragging his gaze up. Why wasn’t anyone helping?

“Matt!” Kelly frowned. Heather knelt down beside Matt’s head, staring down his open mouth, gasping for air that wouldn’t come. Kelly didn’t understand. Heather reached out as if to touch Casey, but her hands shook and hovered over him instead. Kelly looked away from Heather, who was now sobbing, and pulled away a little to look over his shoulder. The floor was empty of people; the air cold. He shivered, dread flooding him like ice water.

Then a figure stepped out from behind 51.

“Andy.” Kelly whispered. Dressed in his turnout gear, sans helmet, Andy looked exactly the same as he had that day. “What…?” Kelly tried.

“You miserable bastard.” Andy shook his head, voice hard and unforgiving. “Why couldn’t you let them be happy?” Kelly gaped. His oldest friend stalked closer. “They are two of the best people I knew, why shouldn’t they be together? Just because you can’t let go, doesn’t mean they’re that weak.” Kelly blinked back tears.

“I thought you’d be mad. I thought…I thought I was protecting your memory-”

“My sons need a father, Kelly.” Andy interrupted coldly. “I put Matt’s name down in my Will for a reason.” Andy curled his lip in disgust but before either could say anything Heather screamed. Kelly whipped around, barely registering that Heather was gone because as he looked down, he saw…Matt was dead. Body slack, eyes empty, skin cold. Kelly choked, heart heavy as a stone.

Matt was dead and he’d fucking missed it! He’d been too busy arguing with a ghost.

“I’m sorry.” He stammered.

Kelly woke up with a gasp. He shot up, panting and sweating. Rubbing his face, he groaned and got up, sneaking down to the kitchen. It took him several minutes and a glass of water to calm his breathing, though he still felt jittery and on edge. He couldn’t get the image of Matt’s ruined neck out of his head, the fear in his eyes as he’d silently begged Kelly to help him. He shook his head, hard, and put his hands on the counter, leaning forward and breathing out slowly. God dammit. Gone were the days he could just up and walk to Casey’s room, peer in to check he was okay – though it had been years since he’d been that worried about his friend.

Fuck it. He got dressed and jumped in his car. This time of morning, maybe Matt would be off his guard enough to just admit it. Kelly could give his blessing or pretend he only cared about Matt being straight with him and then they could put it behind them. Kelly didn’t know how he’d cope watching Matt and Heather together but he’d find a way. Andy’s ghost had only told him what he already knew; it just held more weight coming from Andy.

The roads were quiet and he made good time. He didn’t think as he walked up and pounded on the door. Casey eventually opened up, looking torn between concern and annoyance. He blinked as he recognised Kelly.

“Can we talk? It’d just take a minute.” Casey glanced behind him before sighing. He walked away from the open door and Kelly closed it behind him, following Casey into the living room. He didn’t waste any time. “I’m sorry I went after you about Heather. It’s between the two of you. I’ll stay out of it.” Casey, looking more awake, and pissed, just stared at him for a beat.

“That it?” Irritated that Casey was _not _meeting him halfway, Kelly huffed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Thought you weren’t getting involved.” Casey muttered. Kelly ignored him.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have liked it, but I would have appreciated you being honest with me.” Casey flinched and looked away. Kelly folded his arms, waiting for pay dirt. Casey surprised him though, gritting out ‘wait here’ and stomping back to the bedroom. Kelly heard low voices and his stomach lurched. Was Heather _there_? He was beginning to feel vaguely sick when Casey returned with…a guy.

“I didn’t really plan on doing this at 3am but...Hell. Kelly, this is Marco.” He swallowed. “My boyfriend.”

...

Kelly stared. Marco was a little shorter than Matt, a little slimmer but obviously in good shape. He had messy dark hair, tanned skin and sharp green eyes, which, Kelly realised, were assessing him right back. After a taught moment, Marco moved first.

“Pleased to meet you.” He said genially, holding out a hand like he and Matt both weren’t in sleep clothes in the early morning, their night interrupted by a crazy man. Snapped out of his shock, Kelly responded automatically, shaking the hand shortly.

“Yeah.”

“We good here?” Matt asked, aiming for casual but Kelly could hear the nervousness. What a loaded question. Well, Kelly was convinced that Matt’s recent chipperness wasn’t him jumping into Heather’s bed, but as to how he felt about this new information…

“Who else knows?” Matt shifted.

“At 51? Just Shay.” Kelly started a little but Matt raised his hands placatingly.

“She found out by accident and I asked her not to say anything. I just need some time…” He trailed off uncomfortably. Marco smiled a little and nudged Matt playfully.

“Especially after I met your mom.” Matt groaned, rubbing his forehead.

“Don’t remind me.” He looked at Marco with a mixture of apology and reassurance. “She just needs time to get used to you.” Kelly was feeling very out of place, like he’d been transported to an alternate universe. He’d known that Casey wasn’t entirely straight – obviously – but…a boyfriend? Who even _was_ this guy?

“How long, have you two…?”

“A couple of months.” Casey still looked nervous, like Kelly was a smouldering pile of boxes next to a propane tank. Kelly swallowed.

“Right, well, I should…” Matt followed him to the door, just as Kelly opened it he asked lowly.

“Hey, can you not mention this to anyone?” Kelly turned to look at him, unsure how to feel about the request. He understood it completely – he’d always been careful about his gay hook-ups, especially as he’d been working his way up the ranks. It didn’t matter so much now he was settled at 51 and a squad lieutenant, but he still didn’t like the idea of other houses cracking jokes or being difficult on calls. He only knew of two openly gay firefighters in the CFD and both had transferred to the call centre after floating for a while. It was the 21st century outside, but the CFD still had some catching up to do. Risking having a hard time wasn’t worth a few one night stands but Matt was dating. That man could never do anything by halves. Kelly almost wanted to tell him not to come out. Was this Marco guy really worth all the grief that would follow Casey for the rest of his career?

“You serious about him?” He asked, curious despite the warning voice telling him to stay out of it. Matt studied him a minute before nodding.

“Yeah, I am.” Angered by this answer, Kelly managed to grind out.

“I won’t tell.” Then he left, his mind a whirl.


	2. Who I Am

Matt closed the door and leaned his forehead against it for a long moment. Well, could have gone a lot worse, he tried to tell himself. He’d been dreading that encounter since his and Marco’s third date, when he’d realised that they were working. That he saw a future for them. Groaning, he forced himself to move and found Marco in the kitchen, making hot chocolate. He ambled over and dropped a kiss on Marco's shoulder.

“I do not deserve hot chocolate right now.” Marco laughed tiredly.

“I told you, this is all going in my memoirs.” He turned around and hugged Matt to him, eyes soft. “So, how did that go? I can’t tell.” Matt sighed.

“Your guess is as good as mine. At least he won’t tell anyone. I have more time to agonise over what I’m going to say.”

“Are you sure us making out on the floor isn’t an option?” Matt smiled, pecking Marco on the lips.

“As tempting as that…” he scrunched his face up, “actually no, that makes my skin crawl.” Marco stroked Matt’s face affectionately before turning around again to take the milk off the heat.

“N’aw, one day I will introduce you to the joys of exhibitionism.” They sat at the table, holding hands and drinking quietly. “So…he’s the friend who you…?” Marco prompted. Matt put down his mug.

“Promise me you won’t tell a soul.” Marco squeezed his hand.

“I promise.” Matt sighed and nodded, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s triumphant grin.

“Knew it!” Marco mock-gasped. “How can you work with that hunk for 24 hours straight without jumping him?” Matt gave him a flat look before snarking back.

“The moodiness helps offset his sex appeal.” Marco’s lip twitched.

“Oh I don’t know, for some people that would contribute, a lot.”

“Well, lucky I like my guys funny and irreverent then, isn’t it?” Far from being offended, Marco preened at that description, playfully nudging Matt’s foot under the table. They laughed, though neither had the energy to take the flirting further. After a moment, Matt said guiltily.

“I’m sorry about, all this sneaking around. As soon as Severide is on board, then squad will be quicker to accept it…”

“Hey, hey, no rush Matt. I mean it.” Marco reassured him seriously. “I understand what having a boyfriend could do to your professional reputation. You take as much as time as you need. Coming out isn’t easy.” Matt heard the note of sadness.

“How are things with your folks?”

“Eh,” Marco shrugged, “they’re fine as long as no one mentions it.” His gaze went distant. “Like the son they knew died and I’m just, I don’t know.” Matt squeezed his hand sympathetically. As horrible as it was, part of him was relieved he never had to come out to his own father; it would have not gone well. His mother had made an effort to be accepting, though her confusion and dismay were obvious. Marco didn’t see how introducing Matt to his parents could possibly go without everyone getting hurt so he didn’t mind Nancy Casey’s efforts. They hadn’t gotten around to introducing Marco to Christie and her family, but it was in the works. She’d been supportive on the phone.

Although they were being cautious in their external relationships, between them, after Matt’s initial and habitual reticence, they’d become very close. Apart from things like Cruz’s murderous solution to the Flaco problem – and hadn’t that almost caused a rift between them – Matt told Marco everything about his family, his 51 family, his desire for children ending his engagement, even his history with Andy and Kelly, though he’d changed their names.

In turn, Marco had told Matt about his struggle to come out to his family and community at large, escaping several terrible relationships, giving up his dream of being an actor – “latino_ and _gay? no way” – and finally taking a writing course and working every odd job known to man as he finished his first manuscript. Not many publishing houses were interested in a first time novelist with a story about growing up gay in a latino area of Chicago, but he’d finally gotten a tentative offer from an LGBT publishing house. He joked that he was only dating Matt for research into his next book about gay firefighters. That was one of the things Matt really admired about Marco. Even through his hardships, he kept his sense of humour. He’d mentioned this once and Marco had nudged his shoulder.

“You’re a survivor too, maybe you don’t have my sparkling personality, but you’re still a bright light.” He’d frowned then. “No, wait, that’s really cheesy.” Matt had interrupted him with a kiss. “Oh,” Marco grinned, “cheese works, does it?”

“Uhuh.” Matt had murmured, before rendering his boyfriend speechless. Another of Marco’s great qualities was patience. Matt was slightly embarrassed by his relative lack of experience in gay sex and dating men. Fooling around with Andy and Kelly had been the tip of the iceberg, apparently, but Marco had never made him feel bad about that.

“You’re not a posturing asshole Matt, do you know how rare it is for a guy who looks like you to be humble? Rare.” Matt’s lips had twitched.

“I am pretty humble.”

“Pretty and humble. My perfect man.” It was moments like that which made Matt glad he’d forgotten his wallet the day they met; the day Marco had been behind him in the queue, paid for his coffee over Matt’s protests and proposed Matt sit with him in repayment. The day Matt had hesitated, opened his mouth to come up with an excuse before remembering Hallie had left and he was a good few miles away from the firehouse. The day he’d felt bold and said yes.

At the kitchen table they finished their drinks and went back to bed. Marco dropped off pretty quickly whilst Matt lay awake, wondering how Severide would behave their next shift. After a while he shook his head and snuggled closer to Marco. A problem for another day.

…

Shay glanced at her watch. Yeah, they were definitely going to be late. What the Hell was Kelly doing in the bathroom? If he ever ragged on her for ‘preening’ too long she was going to use this as an excuse. She went and banged on the door.

“Kelly! Hurry up!” The door opened suddenly, Kelly wearing his fake-casual smile.

“Calm down, I’m coming.” Shay refrained from commenting, merely rolling her eyes and leading them out. On the way to the restaurant, she took stock of her flatmate and friend. With a start, she realised that he was nervous. It wasn’t like he hadn’t already met Matt’s boyfriend – she couldn’t wait until enough time had passed and she could tease him about that story. It also wasn’t like he was worried about making a good impression, his and Matt’s friendship was stronger than not liking each other’s partners. Kelly’s reluctance to have this dinner with Matt and Marco had confused Shay. At first she’d attributed it to Kelly’s lingering resentment over Heather’s preferential treatment of Matt and the still painful presence (or rather absence) of Andy slap bang in the middle of the two. In the car, watching him tap the wheel arhythmically, shoulders tense, she sensed it was something else bothering him. Ah well, sometimes with Kelly you just gotta wait for the perfect opportunity to tap that well.

Whatever the problem, Shay was relieved that he knew the secret now. It had been Hell for her to keep from blabbing, especially when he’d been raging about Matt’s supposed affair with Heather. Never let it be said that Shay was a bad friend, she was just bad with secrets. Despite the uncomfortableness of not saying anything to anyone else, Shay was glad that she could lend an ear to Casey’s thoughts and feelings about it. They had been friendly enough with each other in the past, but once she’d picked up the phone he’d dropped as they’d bumped into each other at the station, reading ‘Marco’ on the screen and realising that Matt’s almost giddy expression was because of a guy…they’d been brought closer: both by Matt’s trust in her and by shared experience. Shay had never thought that she’d be advising a firefighter on how to come out, but there they were.

Lo and behold, Matt and Marco were already seated when they arrived. Shay had only met Marco a handful of times but her impression of him was reaffirmed by the comforting hand he laid on Matt’s restless fingers worrying the tablecloth. They both stood as Shay and Kelly came over.

“Sorry, but Shay was worrying about her hair or whatever.” Kelly announced shamelessly. Shay gaped at him but Marco laughed as he kissed her on the cheek.

“Worth every second.”

“Thanks,” she replied politely, before rounding on Kelly, “but it was Mr Cool here who was the hold up this time.” Marco and Kelly shook hands, Marco unsubtly running his eyes over Kelly as if to look for the source of the delay. Matt was tense as Shay kissed him on the cheek, distractedly keeping an eye on the other two. She whispered. “I’ve got his leash.” He smiled at that, squeezing her arm in thanks. They all sat and managed a pleasant conversation. Marco was highly interested in Shay’s IVF efforts, taking the reveal that Kelly would be the father – platonically – in stride. Matt smiled and said with a slight waver in his voice.

“This kid’s gonna be a force of Nature.” Shay felt glad of his endorsement, even as she winced a little. She almost wanted to apologise about flaunting her plans for kids after Matt had admitted to her that was one of the reasons he split with Hallie. Marco looked between them and smiled.

“You’ll have to be our wise guides someday.” Kelly choked. Shay whacked him on the back until he nodded and wheezed.

“You two…?” Matt flushed but tried for a shrug.

“We’ve talked about it.” Marco took a sip of wine and then elaborated calmly.

“That’s way in the future, we need to do some other stuff first.” He grinned. “What would our poor mothers say if we had a child out of wedlock?” Matt huffed a laugh and Shay smiled awkwardly, hyperaware of the block of ice sitting beside her. The conversation moved to more neutral territories for a while, everyone trying to ignore the monosyllabic grunts of a certain blockhead, until they’d finished their mains. The server came over and asked if they wanted to see the dessert menu. Everyone nodded except for Kelly who waited a beat and then put his napkin down on the table.

“You know, I might take off. Got a job tomorrow morning.” As he stood Shay opened her mouth to admonish him but Marco beat her to it.

“No sweat.” Matt looked between them, expression hardening. Kelly didn’t wait for anything else though, just nodding and leaving. Matt squared his jaw.

“Excuse me.” He followed Kelly outside. Shay shifted in her seat, wondering if she needed to go and make sure they didn’t kill each other. Marco held up a hand, reading her mind.

“They’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know Kelly.” Marco didn’t even blink.

“No, but I know Matt.” She twisted her lip a little but in the end decided to stay.

“Sorry about Kelly, he’s…” She sighed.

“He’s exactly as I thought he’d be.” Marco finished matter-of-factly. “I know his type and I also know,” he continued over Shay’s objection, “that Matt would do anything for him.”

“And vice versa.” Shay added. Marco didn’t look convinced. “When it really matters, and once he’d had the chance to calm down, process it, Kelly would do exactly the same.” Marco considered and sighed.

“Yeah, Matt isn’t a sucker. Too forgiving for his own good,” Shay raised her glass to that, “but not a sucker.” Shay glanced worriedly towards the exit but forced herself still. Maybe she’d give them another five minutes.

…

“What the Hell is your problem?” Matt called after Kelly’s retreating back. It was still early evening and a warm night, so there were a few people around. Kelly ignored him, walking back to the car. “Can’t you at least pretend to be happy for me?” At this, Kelly whirled around angrily.

“How can I? When you’re ruining your life for _him_?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You come out, you can kiss any promotions goodbye.” Brow clearing, Matt countered evenly.

“Don’t want any.” Kelly was undeterred.

“That’s nothing to say about the shit you’ll get on a daily basis.”

“I can take it.”

“But can your guys?” Matt blinked. “You think Mills will get a place on squad if he’s known as the candidate on the gay truck?” Blanching a little, Matt grunted.

“So you want me to wait till you get Mills on squad?”

“I want you to think about the consequences-”

“I have!”

“If Andy were here, he’d be saying the same thing.”

“How do you know that?” Lowering his voice to a hiss, Severide leaned in.

“There’s a reason we hid what we were doing.” Matt looked away and Severide pressed. “You think Andy ever told Heather about us? Of course he didn’t.” Matt gulped and said quietly.

“It was different for him, and for you. This is who I am. I’m tired of living a lie.” Kelly stared at him as Matt gathered his courage. “I didn’t even realise how miserable I was, until I met Marco. I couldn’t put a name on that…emptiness I felt when I was with Hallie. I loved her, I still do, but Kelly, it’s not the same. Nowhere near.” Kelly was frowning gently, searching Matt’s face, looking for what Matt didn’t know. Eventually he asked, as if he already knew the answer.

“He makes you happy?” Eyes burning, Matt nodded.

“Yeah.” Something shifted in Kelly’s eyes and he swallowed before laughing. Matt frowned.

“Something funny?” Kelly shook his head.

“This is just so you.” He said cryptically before clapping Matt on the arm. “Come on, let me grill him over ice cream. Andy would have killed me if I didn’t vet this guy thoroughly.” Matt stared up at him, wide-eyed as they headed back to the restaurant. He crossed his fingers, hoping against hope that this was the turning point, that finally he and Kelly could find their rhythm again. He would need all the friends he could get for what would come next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I re-watched season 1 and amused myself by imagining Gabby passing Mills over for Matt, who’s in a gay relationship. So Sevasey is the end game of this series, but right now they’re not ready (especially you Severide!). Not sure how many parts there will be, working on the next one now and we’ll just see how the story develops.  
Hope you enjoy this, please let me know if you spot any errors!  
Thanks!  
:D


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